The N. T. Wrong Blog

This video is from Christians For The Praise And Worshipping Of The God Of The Bible Or Else (aka Edward Current):

Christian cable television network, The Agape Channel, has today announced that James “The Hoff” Hoffmeier is to appear in an upcoming Christian version of Baywatch. The show, to be called simply The Hoffmeier, is filmed on the beautiful white-sand beaches of the Sinai Peninsula. James “The Hoff” Hoffmeier combs the beach for evidence of ancient Israel, while his lifesaving crew, ‘The Red Sea Pedestrians’, save the hapless Egyptians from drowning. As The Hoff says in episode one of the upcoming series: “Yahweh drowns ‘em, but we save ‘em!”

In other News …

Tattooed Pork-eating Shellfish-eating Gay Cross-dressing Bastard Palestinian Wiccan Man with crushed testicles has sued the publishers of the New International Version for Zillions.

“We think he has a very good case,” said his lawyer, Denny Crane.

Fresh from his starring role as Reepacheep in the movie Prince Caspian, the versatile Eddie Izzard delivers an exegesis on Paul’s letters to the Corinthians.

(Contains British Comedian language.)

‘There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.’

Lingamish has tagged me in a meme, designed to replace the failed slightly tardy Biblical Studies Carnival XXX.

Here are the rules:

a. Tag five Biblical studies bloggers.
b. Invent fictional posts that they might have written over the last month.
c. Link to this post.

Here’s my five:

James Crossley: Resurrection, My Arse!
Chuck Grantham: Testament of Solomon 14: Sunday School Notes
Mystical Seeker: Why We’re Merely Taking Different Paths Up The Same Mountain
Wade Greiner: It’s a Slow Train Coming but Something Is Happening Here and You Don’t Know What It Is
Phil Sumpter: Interpreting the Bible as God’s Word Allows You to Understand It Is God’s Word

Lingamish also adds a horrific curse to this meme: “Failure to keep this meme going will result in the offender being forced to listen to Todd Bentley reading the complete works of Zwingli.”

Bill Maher takes the piss out of almost every religion you can think of in his upcoming movie, Religulous. The trailer is out now ( 2:10 ). The movie itself is out October. It looks a laugh a minute:

“Known for his stance against religion, Bill Maher’s views on the various world religions are explored as he travels to numerous religious destinations, such as Jerusalem, the Vatican, and Salt Lake City, interviewing believers from a variety of backgrounds and groups, including Jews for Jesus, Muslims, polygamists, Satanists, Hasidic scholars and even Rael of the Raelian Movement.”

… though, it’s kind of easy and obvious to just point and laugh at funny religious practices. I wonder if the analysis gets any deeper? I bet not.

Now - prophylactic relief is finally available. You don’t have to take it anymore!

A New Age site, King Solomon Legend, has been set up to sell prophylactic amulets to those afflicted by cruel and perverse demons. The amulets are “made in Israel” - which makes them doubly effective of course.

Jim Davila links to the website’s press release, in which amulet-wearers are promised “the focus and energy to pursue their dreams, face their fears and accomplish their goals”. Dude.

When I was young, there was one book which had a special place in my heart. That was Gerhard Kittel’s Illustrated Family Bible for the Chosen People. I fondly remember when Grandad Hans, who had fled to South America after World War II, would take me on his knee and read a favourite Bible story of his (usually one from Joshua, I seem to recall).

I guess I’m not even aware of the extent to which this wonderful children’s book may have influenced me in my formative years. God bless you, Gerhard! 

See also: Today, a number of other bibliobloggers have shared the children’s books that, in part, shaped their lives. The list is available on John Hobbins’ Ancient Hebrew Poetry. Remarkably, nobody else has chosen Gerhard Kittel’s family favourite.

But surely it’s contrary to nature itself …

ST. LOUIS: Police officer sues over length of hair
06/07/2008

St. Louis police Officer Scott Jason Tillis sued the department this week in federal court, claiming that superiors violated his civil rights last year by ordering him to cut his hair.

Tillis, who joined the force in 2001, said he had kept his hair long as part of a Nazarite vow. In the Old Testament Book of Numbers, God describes the vow to Moses as a path to holiness requiring abstinence from wine and haircuts and avoidance of the dead.

In his complaint in U.S. District Court, Tillis said he cut his hair in October to save his job, but that the department continued to say his hair was against the rules. He is now suspended.

The Missouri Human Rights Commission and the U.S. Equal Opportunity Employment Commission closed investigations into Tills’ claims without findings but authorized him to sue his employer, according to documents filed with the suit.

The police department did not respond to the allegations. Tillis could not be reached for comment.

“alcoholic excess, a vice and device common among gods and men but rarely used by camels or other animals except when aided and abetted, induced and seduced, by man for morbid amusement.”
- Marvin Pope