Official Blog of the Bishop of Durham

The Anti-BAR Cartoon Caption Contest – Nov/Dec 2008

Posted by NT Wrong on November 13, 2008

Every two months, the Biblical Archaeology Review runs a Cartoon Caption Contest. The winners and runners-up appear to be those who have chosen the most obvious, insipid, lame, and inoffensive captions.

For this reason, I have inaugurated The Anti-BAR Cartoon Caption Contest. Prizes are for the most witty, clever, and risque captions. Just to make it clear, the “Anti-” in the name for this Caption Contest is just in contradistinction to the unfunny captions in the BAR contest. Here, all winners and runners-up shall be funny. (I.e. the captions themselves don’t have to be anti-BAR — unless you want to, which would be perfectly ok with me).

Here’s the current cartoon. Submit in the Comments section below. Entries close December 15, 2008:

Other rules, notes, and suggestions:

– Be topical. See the biblioblogs for topical topics.
– Although it might be easy to write scathing, insulting, profane, and/or dirty comments, the judges have a predisposition towards such comments.
– Be funny.
– The monetary value of prizes is calculated in accordance with average rates of remuneration for articles submitted to biblical studies journals.
– If you have any doubts as to the appropriateness of your caption, submit first, think later.


8 Responses to “The Anti-BAR Cartoon Caption Contest – Nov/Dec 2008”

  1. jon said

    “Yeah, sure he’s completely blind, but he’s the guy all the antiquities dealers around here use to verify the authenticity of Apostles’ testicles.”

  2. Jim said

    Isaac I’ve told you a thousand times, put your teeth in before dinner.

  3. Jim said

    [NB- I tried to be as unfunny as possible making your anti-bar cartoon as unfunny as the bar captions- just to be a contrarian and break the rules of the contest]

  4. rochelle said

    This should be a breeze; he always just sits on his shanks promoting fakes.

  5. rochelle said

    Don’t worry, Jake; He’S always stealing credit from others for his “new” ideas. So why not?

    (Note: inspired by “First Person’s” brilliant “new” idea that the Siloam, tunnel was dug using sound. My article on the Siloam Tunnel — with fully cited quote from the article by Frumkin & Shimron, “Tunnel Engineering in the Iron Age: Geoarchaeology of the Siloam Tunnel, Jerusalem” in the Journal of Archaeological Science (2006; 227-237) explaining how sound was used to direct the workers came up at the trial. Just a coincidence that his statement about the uniqueness of this tunnel dig just happens to be a paraphrase of something I wrote after discussing the article by Tom Apostoi in Engineering and Science 1 (2004: 30-40.))

  6. ntwrong said

    Rochelle – that’s appalling behaviour from First Person.

  7. I never got the whole Esau-Jacob saga. Doesn’t it say God hated Esau from the womb? But Jacob still has to jump through hoops, deceiving his brother and then his father to gain Esau’s birthright and their dad’s supernatural blessing.

    Jacob later gets to wrestle with God who wounds him in his “thigh” [ephemism for “testicles” per some biblical scholars].

    This stuff is just silly.

    Isaac couldn’t tell the difference between goatskins and a human hairy arm? Kind of like not being able to tell the difference between “Red Sea” or “sea of reeds,” or “virgin” and “young woman.” Or not being able to tell the difference between a talking serpent “the most wise creature created by God,” and “Satan.”

  8. Nick Altman said

    Come father, rub my furry arm, and I will make the mating noise of a swollen Wookie…” Heeerrssshaaaallll, Heeerrssshaaalllll…

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