N.T.WRONG

Official Blog of the Bishop of Durham

ESV Endorsed By Lesbians

Posted by NT Wrong on December 3, 2008

The translators of the ESV are planning a special 'Lesbian Edition' of the ESV, following an endorsement from Lesbians for the Increase of Christian Knowledge (LICK).

Proposed New ESV cover: The translators of the ESV are planning a special 'Lesbian Edition' of the ESV, following an endorsement from Lesbians for the Increase of Christian Knowledge (LICK).

The new ESV translation of the Bible (alternatively, ‘English Standard Version’ or ‘Evangelical Standard Version’) has now been endorsed by Lesbians for the Increase of Christian Knowledge (LICK).

Although this may come as a surprise to those who are acquainted with the mainly conservative, androcentric ESV translation, it appears that the ESV has also slipped in the odd pro-Lesbian passage. For example, check out the ESV’s translation of Luke 17.35:

There will be two women grinding together. One will be taken and the other left.”

As Mark Strauss prudishly explained at the 2008 Evangelical Theological Society Meeting:

“In contemporary English, “grinding together” suggests seductive dancing or something worse. (Perhaps both should have been taken for judgment!)”

“Something worse,” huh? I bet Mark Strauss can only imagine how these two women were grinding together. I bet he spent some time imagining it, too.

On the other hand, in an official press release, LICK has approved the ESV translation as endorsing the salvation of (at least some) lesbians, which is a considerable improvement from earlier conservative evangelical positions.

“I think this shows that God likes a good scissor,” commented LICK spokesperson Sapphie Powerscourt.

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7 Responses to “ESV Endorsed By Lesbians”

  1. steph said

    “Oops” translations? He spends too much time sniggering in men’s public lavatories. I don’t doubt that all good grinding Christian lesbians will achieve “salvation”. 🙂

  2. steph said

    I forgot to say I love the acronym.

  3. Carl Conrad said

    Propertius 4.7.93-94

    Cynthia’s ghost advises the poet that she and her old lover will be “grindng together” ere long in a cinerary urn that sounds something like a mortar and pestle:

    nunc te possideant aliae: mox sola tenebo:
    mecum eris, et mixtis ossibus ossa teram.

  4. Tsk tsk….

    Mind you, the point is worth making. This “translation inaccurracies compilation” is getting a little old.

  5. Doug said

    I would expect that a lesbian Bible would have many fresh phrases, being the work of so many cunning linguists

  6. rey said

    This is a good point for translators to keep in mind while translating! Thanks for the heads up.

    There are two passages for this, and Luke’s lack’s the phrase “at the mill.” The only sensible thing for a translator to do is add “meal” or “at the mill” in italics in Luke and provide a footnote cross referencing Matthew. The fact the ESV did not do so indicates thy do support lesbians.

    Mat 24:41 “Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.”

    Luke 17:35 “Two women shall be grinding [meal] together; the one shall be taken, and the other left.”

  7. You are my hero.

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